What is Love?

There are four major types of love. All four are derived form Greek words; agape, storge, philia, and eros. Agape love is love that is independent of one’s feelings for another. Storge is the love shown between parent and child. Philia is the love that exists between friends. Eros is the love between an man and a women. Eros is what most of us think of when we think of love.

For a happy marriage what types of love should you have? Some people would say that all you need is eros. That’s not true. If all a marriage has is eros the marriage has a high change of divorce. We should strive to have all four kinds of love in our marriage. Some of you may have just gone wait even storge. No don’t patrinice them, but sometime we need a mothers love or a fathers. To just be able to hold someone and tell them that it will be all right. It’s best to have a little of all of them. It’s fine to have eros just not all the time.

When it comes time for the wedding plan the wedding with your soon to be spouse. What happens most of the time is that bride and her mother plan the wedding. They get close and this can cause a division between the husband and wife latter on. If they plan it together thought they will develop a good relationships and when things happen later on in life they will go to each other for help rather than to their parents.

What makes people gay?

A common misconception is that people are just born that way. That is not true. If it’s not true then what makes people gay?

                It’s not just one thing it is a combination of several different things. 75% of people who report to be gay were admitted to being sexually abused at one point. The father figure in the family is often distance and doesn’t interact positively with the young child. An example would be if the child showed an interest in Barbie’s. Don’t take them away, break, or destroy them in front of him. Instead play with him, by Barbie so that he can be Ken. An over involved mother can also cause problems. If all she ever does is down play the father it will only hurt the child. Bullying also can affect the child. If he is told that he is bad at a sport he will be much less likely to even try it next time, making him with draw more form the other boys.

                What really happens is they just want to have a relationship with other men, not necessarily in a sexual way, but in an I want to be friend’s way. They have never had a healthy relationship with other men before so they may think that what is happening is normal and healthy. Another problem is people of today. If a girl acts like a boy she is a tomboy, but if a boy acts like a girl he is gay. We automatically made it that they have to have a sexual relationship with other men. How is that right? If you call someone gay long enough they will just think that, that is what they are. When in reality they just want to have a family one day with children. Funny fact in our class most all of the girls would like the traits of; sensitivity, caring, and creativity in their husbands. Wait isn’t that what people call gay? See we are labeling people without even giving thought to how they really are or feel.

                Dose being gay happen at birth? The evidence says no. I would have to say that it is many the environments that we grow up in. Please don’t just label people gay. It’s not always true and can have disastrous conscious on that person’s life latter on in life.

Class and Culture

What is class? Google defines it as the system of ordering a society in which people are divided into sets based on perceived social or economic status. So class is how we see people. There are upper-class, middle-class and lower-class. Upper class live on the hill in big mansions, with pools, fancy cars, and there pink poodle. Meanwhile lower class is having top roman for dinner every night looking up at the lights coming from the mansions above. Is this really what is happening. No of course not. This is a classic case of stereotyping. An example of this can be seen in this example. A man goes to Wal-Mart dresses in sweet paints and a shirt that has been stained. Will in the checkout line a nice lady behind him offers to pay for his groceries. Once back out in the car he tells his wife about the experience. She tells him that he needs to start to dress up better. The man was equally rich in the upper-class, but he dresses lower-class because that what he liked to ware. So it’s not always accurate when people just place a person in a class based on how they look.

What is culture? Culture is what we are on the inside, it also describes a group. Groups can be all the way for your ethnicity, to a family. Culture is also not a set thing. An example is a family moving from Mexico into the United States. Usually the father goes first, to make money so that he can bring his family over. They only except to be gone from his family for six months or less. In reality it takes three years on average because he can bring them over. By the time they are all back together the culture has changed. While he was gone the mother and children grow closer. She had to work and the older children as well to survive will the father was away. This causes a gap in the relationship. The order and roles that the family members once played have changed now. The culture has changes. Not all cultures change easily though. If you live your entire life in a traditional African village then your culture will probably not change. Culture is not only effect by were you come from, but by the people you meet, and the environment that you live in.

So in short class is what people see you as, and isn’t always right. Culture is what we are; it shapes us from the inside out. If you have any questions please leave a comment and I will try my best to answer it.

Family Systems Theory

               Family Systems Theory. This week I have read lots about the family system theory. It was interesting that over and over again it tell us that it is never just one person. It’s hard or impossible to trace back to what started it all. An example could be a boy who has a drug addiction. He had this because his father is an alcoholic who used to hit his mother in front of him. We could say that it’s the fathers fault. If he didn’t drink then his son wouldn’t use drugs. Let’s look farther back. The fathers, mother had been a heavy drinker as well. So he had learned it from her, the further we look back we see that there is a trend with all the ancestors. Who started it, we will never know. So instead of looking at it as who started it we need to look at the family as a whole. One of the examples is to look at it as a clock. All the gears working together are what cause it to work. If just one gear breaks then the whole clock comes to a stop. Another way is dominos. Set on end and in a pattern if one falls they all come tumbling down. So when a family therapist helps the family, he doesn’t look for the person who started it all he looks for a way to break the habits.

                Think about it what simple things in your life and the life of your family can be blow out of proportion, because we are all trying to find someone to blame. Instead of finding someone to blame let’s find a way to fix the problem.